As long as you have breath, and interact with others, you will have to deal with bitterness at least once in your lifetime. I cannot count how many times I have been offended by strangers, colleagues, friends, family, respected leaders, and even by my dear wife. 😒😒 And many times I have been pushed to breed that “root of bitterness” in my heart. Do you know it is very easy to water that root (of bitterness) with some thoughts, until it begins to bear fruits of anger or depression (anger turned inwards). But I will like to share 3 steps I love to take to deal with my bitterness. Yes, I have to deal with it, because I cannot be better if I am bitter.
- Accept you are bitter: Many times we pretend as if we are not human. Emotions are part of the human kind. No one is immune from being bitter when offended. That only shows you are not a robot. So when you are offended, a seed (of bitterness) is dropped on your heart. What happens to that seed depends on what you do with it. Realizing that there is a seed there is the first step in dealing with it. Don’t fake it. Don’t try to ignore it. Accept it.
- Confront the bitterness: Now ask yourself why the seed is there. Who dropped it there? What really happened? What was the situation in which you were offended? Could it be your fault? or were you purely innocent? Can you do anything about it? Do you need to talk to the person involved? It is important you confront it. I have had to call those who planted a seed of bitterness in my heart, even when I had forgiven them. Sometimes, it is just to prove that I have dealt with the bitterness, and ready to move on.
- Pray about the bitterness: oh yeah, I am here with prayer again 😎. This has worked for me many times. I have had situations where people I held in high esteem planted seeds of bitterness in my heart. What can I do? I take it to God in prayer. At first, it seems unforgivable, but when I ask God to take over my heart, whatsoever was breeding is gradually effaced. So prayer works.
I remember an instance when I had a root of bitterness towards a family. It was really breeding and its really burdensome. I kept watering it with my thoughts. But a crucial point of my life, God said “You cannot be better than this if you don’t deal with that bitterness”. God gave me two options; Be bitter or be better. Of course I wanted to be better 😊😊. And I’m happy I did.
Let me know if you have more tricks. But make sure that bitterness don’t breed. Thank you.
Written by Victor Chukwu